My Fairy Tale World

I live in Fairy-Tale Land these days.

My favorite childhood memory happened when I was about 5 years old. My Dad sat me in his lap and said, “April, you can be anything you want to be.” I chose peace and love.

Cinderella and Snow White really screwed me up. They made reality hard for me to accept.


Years ago, I stood beside a pond and hundreds of little orange fish swam up to the bank at my feet. I felt so special, like Snow White. It was such an uplifting and beautiful experience for me until my boyfriend ruined it. He said, “April, they just wanted to be fed.” Why couldn’t he just let me have my moment in fairy-tale land even if it was ridiculous and child-like?

Years and years of the salty reality have made me even more comfortable in my fairy-tale world. I enjoy spinning slowly in the rain, sitting alone on the mountain top and making my little home overflow with hugs and love for all who enter.

I enjoy peace and the sound of no one complaining. I enjoy the quietness when no one breaks the early morning silence and I can hear the birds singing.
I’m comfortable in my little world; where my heart belongs to Jesus and no one can break it.
In my fairy-tale land, prince charming is still non-existent. But, I have to ask myself, is it me? Have I become too comfortable and unwilling to allow someone to find my glass slipper?

I’ve become strong, independent and stubborn in my perfect world. I despise conflict, uncertainty, tension and bad communication. And I’ve become intolerant. I like being in control and can’t fathom the thought of someone else playing even the slightest part in my happiness again or losing myself again.
Looking back over my last few relationships, I was always the one to walk away and close the door. The whole dating and relationship game drives me absolutely insane! Honestly, I twitch at the thought of waiting on a guy to call.

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in Eat, Pray, Love, “To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life.”
I guess the question is…Am I strong enough to lose my balance for love and willing to welcome someone else into my fairy-tale world?