Dictionary.com shares this definition:
sin
1. Transgression of divine law: the sin of Adam.
2. Any act regarded as such a transgression, especially a willful or deliberate violation of some religious or moral principle.
3. Any reprehensible or regrettable action, behavior, lapse, etc.; great fault or offense: It's a sin to waste time.
My definition:
1. Any thought or action that separates us from God’s perfect love and will for our lives.
You may be a little different but when I sin God fiercely convicts me. I can't get away with anything. No joke. It’s like when we were in grade school. We’d race through the empty hallways, cutting up and laughing and when we least expected it, out popped the Principal. Ouch. I knew better. Shame would consume me, my head would go down and my heart became frightened of the punishment ahead.
I just experienced ten extremely long months of holiness. Not only because there weren't any charmingly handsome men knocking on my door but also because I thought had I seen a glimpse of my future. I was waiting on someone and boy was he worth it. Unfortunately, instead of receiving what I had been waiting for, my heart was shattered into a million pieces (again) and I learned a lesson on expectations.
This time was different. I was mad! I turned my face from God and danced with the devil. I yanked the cable that kept me connected to God completely out of the socket. I was tired of hurting. I was going to do it my way. After all, all those other sinners weren't lonely. They had someone or a lot of some-ones to keep them company. I didn't understand why God hadn't given me my husband yet. I had been a really good girl for a really, really long time [way more than 10 months].
I threw my little fleshly, cherry red, convertible self into reverse and I rebelled. I gave into the first guy that crossed my path. I went from good girl to really bad girl overnight. Kisses were sweet. I wanted to be loved and to be held. And dang it, I was tired of waiting and being let down. I gave in. I experienced what I waited so long for and gave in again. Then I gave in some more. My heart was happy. I felt cherished and special. (Guy gets what he wants. Girl gets what she wants.) Relationships really are that easy. Right?
Wrong. Guess what happened next. God came knocking.
"Knock, Knock, Knock."
"Sorry God, I’m not home."
Who was I kidding? I couldn’t continue living in sin. This guy wasn't for me. He wasn't hand picked by God to be my husband. We had absolutely nothing in common.
For so long now, I was a child of God, a beautiful vessel for his use. As christians, we are called to live in the world but not to be of the world. I turned from my sin, buried my face and begged for God's mercy. I pleaded for his forgiveness. I knew better. My heart had been shattered and instead of allowing God’s spirit to comfort me, my flesh exploded like a firecracker. You can bet God put me right back where I belonged.
Single and holy.
After receiving God’s forgiveness, something still wasn't right. I was miserable. I had answered a call from God to return to a small island and I was the saddest person on the planet. Surely if this was God's plan, there would be peace; but this stuff wasn’t going away. Loneliness at its worse had crept in and stolen all of my comfort and joy. Hours of prayer wasn't breaking the unbearable curse.
A fellow writer wrote about how she felt while she was alone for a few days with her new child. "It was excruciating" she shared. It had been excruciating for me for twelve years but the pain never lasted this long. God remained distant and I couldn't bare it any longer.
I remembered a lesson on sin. When we give ourselves to someone, we create soul ties. When soul ties form, things from the spiritual world can travel to and from each person freely. Something had definitely travelled to me and I needed to get rid of it. It was time to fast.
After fasting, God allowed me to recall several conversations with a dear friend. We used to talk about sin a lot and how we lose our blessings when we slip; although I had never seen it in scripture. I had to know what was going on, what happened to my relationship with Christ. Guessing was not an option. I needed a solid answer, the truth. I went to the word and this is what I found:
There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil. (Romans 2:9)
There's more...
He who digs a hole and scoops it out falls into the pit he has made. The trouble he causes recoils on himself; his violence comes down on his own head. ( Psalm 7:15-16)
and more...
One sinner destroys much good. (Ecclesiastes 9:18)
yes, still more...
Your own conduct and actions have brought this upon you. This is your punishment. How bitter it is! How it pierces to the heart! (Jeremiah 4:18)
My own actions had brought this upon me. I was suffering, really suffering the consequences of my sin.
I've always had a hard time understanding why God made life so complicated. If it were up to me, we'd all be floating around in hot air balloons, reading books and singing praises-no matter how terrible our voices were. But, it wasn't left up to me. It was left up to woman, in a garden, who (like me) fell for a lie. The entire picture is quite remarkable actually.
God gave us a choice to love him and to experience his unfailing love and his perfect will for our lives. He's always standing there waiting on us to turn to him. (It sort-of sounds like the relationship between a husband and a wife…that’s a choice too.)
A few years ago, I sat at my Pastor's table. (How I miss this man.) I looked at him in disbelief when he began teaching on a sinless life. "Really?" I said. "One can live a life without sin?" He answered in his soft and gently guiding voice and said, "Think about it. Have you ever gone a minute without sinning?" "Sure" I answered. "What about two? Now, keep going."
Let me be the one to tell you...IT AIN'T WORTH IT! No matter how lonely, heartbroken, bored, scared, or fleshly you are, don't do it. It's not worth it. I can't explain the excrutiating loneliness that I've felt over the past few months. I've never experienced such pain. Period.
Satan has come to steal, kill and destroy anything and anyone in his path. I’ll be honest, he had me fooled for a moment and held a tight grip; but I always heard that the word of God is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword.
The next time you think about sinning, think about what blessing you'll be losing and the pain that will come with that sin. If you have to cry, scream and pull your hair out, do it, just don't sin. Should you fall, get right back up and keep walking. Our God is a very loving and forgiving God. Trust me, I know from personal experience.
Don't be afraid to put Satan (or your flesh) in its place. For now is the time to fight.
I'll leave you with this...
You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments. (Exodus 20:5-6)
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1)
